7 weeks

Olive will be 7 weeks old tomorrow, and I will be going back to work.  I have mixed emotions about going back to work.  I hate leaving her, I hate thinking I might miss something, some moment in her life.  I feel so connected and bonded with her, I don't want that to change.  I know I will miss her like crazy tomorrow, but I am also excited to go back to work.  These seven weeks have been great, but I don't think I could be a stay at home mom.  I don't have the discipline for it.  Work helps me stay structured, I'm not so good at creating my own structure or creating a schedule and sticking with it.  I also miss my students and am looking forward to being back at school with them.  While I feel sad about leaving Olive, I take comfort in the fact there is only three weeks of school left and then I get to spend all of summer vacation with her.  When I think about going back to work tomorrow I feel a little nervous, when I think about going back to school next fall I feel devastated.  Three weeks I can handle, a whole school year is going to be tough.  Another thing that makes it easier right now is the fact that my Dad is here with her this week, my Mom will be here next week, and Mark's Mom is doing to the third week.  I feel very lucky and greatful that Olive will be in such great hands, and that I can go back to work worry free.